


Silver Bells and Cockle Shells

by AwkwardPotatoChild



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Abuse, Adultery, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst and Feels, Bullying, Cheating, Drinking, Drinking to Cope, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Gen, Heavy Angst, M/M, Physical Abuse, Please Be careful, Read the warnings, Verbal Abuse, read the tags, this is just a very heavy piece
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 17:09:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11605107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardPotatoChild/pseuds/AwkwardPotatoChild
Summary: Mary Christiansen wasn't always like this. No, she actually had a future and a life that didn't involve constantly starring into the bottom of a glass, but it all changed whenheshowed up.





	Silver Bells and Cockle Shells

**Author's Note:**

> I finished playing Dream Daddy a few days ago and found myself intrigued by Mary Christiansen. At first glance, I didn't care for her, but after seeing [this post](https://humancalamity.tumblr.com/post/163294261838/i-got-an-s-grade-on-all-of-josephs-dates-and-got) on tumblr, I found myself loving her and that love has only grown. Mary deserved some love, so even though this is a heavy and angsty fic, it's meant to show my love and appreciation for her. Mary deserves better.  
> The idea of Mary and Damien being siblings came from [this post here](http://phemiec.tumblr.com/post/163308641650/is-anyone-pointing-out-that-damien-and-mary-are).
> 
> As mentioned in the tags, this is a heavy piece. The physical abuse isn't seen between Mary and Joseph and is brought up when Mary mentions her and Damien's past. It's not explicit, but it is mentioned, so I figured it would be best to be safe than sorry. There is a lot of emotional and verbal abuse in this, so please be careful and please be safe. As someone who has been emotionally abused as well, this was a difficult thing to write, but I hope I did it justice.
> 
> I don't have a beta and I'm posting this at 2330 my time, so I'm tired and hoping for the best. If you spot any mistakes, please don't hesitate to let me know.
> 
> I think that's all I have to say, so yeah. Here you go.

“Neil.”

“I gotcha, Mary. Hold on.”

Mary gave a small smile as she watched the bartender turn his attention to another customer at the bar. From the corner of her eye, she examined the unknown patron carefully, debating whether or not she’d have a bit of fun with him later. It’d be hilarious watching as the poor boy floundered about and then turn bright red at her advances. It’d be funny seeing his hopes soar about the prospects of spending the night with an older married woman before realizing that she really only wanted him to buy her another drink and nothing more.

At the thought of another drink, Mary sighed and looked down at the empty glass in front of her. She knew Neil would come by to fill it up again, but she wished she had the power to reach for the bottle behind the counter and fill it herself. Neil had already explained to her multiple times that if she did that, other patrons would want to do the same and he couldn’t have that happening. Mary nodded in understanding at this, respecting her friend’s wishes. Bored, she began playing with the glass, fingers tracing over the rim and wiping away her smudged lipstick. The sharp sound of clinking ice cut through the murmurs around her. Mary gave another sigh before gripping the glass tightly. The feel and weight of it in her hand was too normal and the thought of not having it now seemed foreign. It almost felt like these glasses were made for her hands or maybe it was the other way around. That’s pretty fucking sad, she thought. When the hell did she become like this?

Mary tried to focus on the crowd around her, hoping to catch some hot gossip since Jim and Kim’s was more crowded than usual tonight because of The Game, but her drink quota hadn’t been filled yet, leaving her too sober for her liking. Without the alcohol blocking her thoughts and suppressing her memories, Mary couldn’t help but think back to when she wasn’t like  _ this _ , like a complete and utter fucking mess of a human being. She certainly didn’t come here to get emotional over all of this bullshit, but she had long since learned that life didn’t give a fuck about her anymore and let her thoughts of the past run their course.

Things weren’t that bad then. People were shit, but nothing she couldn’t handle. Mary always knew that being the older sister was going to be a hard job. It had been ingrained into her the moment her parents, quoting Christina Rossetti, told her that she’d have a younger sibling and Mary was all too happy to step up to the plate. “For there is no friend like a sister,” they had said, so when her little sister was born, Mary was constantly around, always checking on her, always making sure she was okay, always ensuring that she was happy. No task was too daunting for her if it meant her little sister was happy. Mary loved her sister dearly and soon, she found herself loving her little brother even more.

She could still recall when her sister had come into her room at midnight on the day before Mary had an important exam in chemistry. Her sister had left the dinner table early that evening, saying that she had homework to do, even though Mary knew it wasn’t true. She kept that fact hidden from their parents, knowing that her sister must have had a good reason for wanting to steal away from dinner early. Mary worried over her sister as she stayed up late, staring at her notes on stoichiometry, but soon found the reason for her anxiety knocking softly at her door. She knew they were about to have a serious discussion when it had been prefaced with a promise that Mary wouldn’t be mad at her and that she wouldn’t tell their parents either. Once she realized that her sister was coming out to her, Mary could still remember the tears of joy both of them cried as they embraced each other late at night, pouring as much love as they could into the hug and both happy to know that they would always be on each other’s side. Mary had never felt more honored in that moment, knowing that her sibling trusted her so much that she had to be the first one to know, and she had never felt prouder either, seeing the courage and bravery of her sibling, and filling Mary with even more strength and love.

From then on, Mary knew she had to step it up even more. She knew Damien’s life wasn’t going to be a breeze from here, but she was going to do her damndest to make sure that it was. They were lucky to have accepting parents, both of them taking the news well and giving Mary the same look they gave her years ago when her sibling was just born. High school was a tough place, but Mary knew she could be even tougher, especially if it meant keeping Damien safe. Damien had come out to his friends and Mary was happy to see that he had support from them as well, but the news quickly spread around the school. Damien became an easy target for bullying from other students, which wasn’t aided by his fascination with Victorian culture. It was usually just shitty people calling Damien terrible and unrepeatable names, so a quick glare and some threats from Mary were able to end it quickly, but the day that she found him shoved into the janitor’s closet with bruises all over, tears staining his cheeks and cloak torn to bits, was one of the worst incidents. Damien hadn’t been violated in that manner, but Mary still saw red when he he clung to her tightly and told her what happened, and she was even angrier when she found that it was some of her so-called friends who had done so. She had gotten suspended for what she did afterwards and she lost a lot of friends, definitely moving down in the high school hierarchy, but it was more than worth it to her. What she did was enough to keep the other students at bay, no one wanting to start anything with either of the Bloodmarch siblings, not knowing what kind of terrible fate Bloody Mary would have planned for them. It didn’t stop all of them, a few of them wanting to tempt fate or unbelieving of the rumors, but Mary quickly set them straight. No one messed with Damien unless they were willing to face Mary Bloodmarch and the shield she laid in place remained intact even after she moved on to university.

University was supposed to be where people got their first taste of freedom, where they broke away from their responsibilities, and stayed out late with friends on drunken escapades and ran amok around town, not caring about the consequences, but that wasn’t the case for Mary. She and Damien had ended up at different universities, which filled her an indescribable amount of worry. Mary had always been by Damien’s side and the thought of being separated terrified her. What if he wasn’t okay? What if someone was hurting him? What if the other students were hurting him? Mary constantly called and fretted over her brother, making sure that things were okay for him and even offering to visit and instill the fear of Bloody Mary into all of them like she had in high school for him. She worried incessantly about him every second of the day and it eventually reached the point where the two siblings genuinely fought for the first time. It had taken Mary some time to accept it, but her little brother was growing up and he was finding people who loved and accepted him in the same way that she did. He didn’t need her constantly and the thought scared her, but they both grew to understand the other, making their relationship grow even stronger.

Mary had always been a good student, always studious and bright. In her current inebriated state, people would be shocked to hear that she had graduated from high school as salutatorian and even more shocked to hear that she would’ve been valedictorian had it not been for her many suspensions, but grades were only numbers to her, so she didn’t give a damn. She had a knack for picking up exactly what to get out of each lesson and what to expect on exams. Her notes were always meticulously taken, utilizing every possible way you could think of to organize them. Truthfully, Mary probably didn’t need to study for exams, but she did anyway simply because she could. Her study habits carried over to university as well, which was good for many reasons. One of them being that after realizing that Damien no longer needed her to fight battles for him, she needed something to fill her time and she did so with studying.

Libraries had always been a comforting place for Mary. It was quiet. She could study. The librarians liked her. Other students wouldn’t risk causing a scene in the quiet sanctuary. But most importantly, it kept people, specifically boys, from trying to distract her. Mary knew she was attractive. She wouldn’t have been at the top of the high school hierarchy if she hadn’t been and even after her reputation fell, she was still decently popular. She thought her bookworm tendencies and lack of care for her appearance would’ve driven everyone away, but no, there were always a few stubborn stragglers who saw her as the mysterious and cold girl that would change into the perfect girlfriend after a good night’s fuck. It pissed her off knowing that they only saw her as nothing more than a piece of meat, but Mary knew that the glare she had perfected through her time protecting Damien paired with her sharp tongue would be more than enough to drive them away and if not, the librarians were always on her side.

But then  _ he  _ showed up.

Mary was in her usual corner of the library that day, looking over her sociology notes on gender and sexuality, when someone unceremoniously threw their bag on the ground, next to her table. She glanced up and her usual glare fell into place, practically a reflex now. The boy who had decided to sit down in front of her seemed to have not noticed her yet and was instead rifling through his backpack for his books and papers. Mary took the time to take in the sight of him and immediately came to the conclusion that he was like all of the other idiots who came in trying to woo her. There were all the same anyway, frat boys or athlete douchebags who still thought that the high school hierarchy carried over to university, only wanting to add another notch to their belt. It was all stupid bullshit.

Mary continued to glare and the boy continued to look through his things. He eventually got everything in order and looked up to see Mary glaring at him. This was usually the part where most guys would run off, realizing that Mary meant business, and could probably kill them with her French essay and then hide the body without a second thought. Instead, the blond guy in front of her gave her a blinding smile instead. It wasn’t often that someone was immune to the glare, but it happened on occasion. It didn’t make her too happy, but Mary wasn’t discouraged because if the glare didn’t work, her words would.

“Hi!” chirped the guy. “I’m-”

“I don’t give a fuck,” cut in Mary. “I have things to do and I’m sure your douchebros are missing someone for their circle jerk session, so you should run along and join them since it’ll be over within the next five minutes.”

The guy froze, like a deer caught in headlights. Mary looked down at her notes again, smiling to herself. She hated being bothered, but getting to see their stupid faces looking even dumber was hilarious to her. It wouldn’t be long before he realized she wasn’t worth the trouble, awkwardly gather his things, and then leave her. It was the same almost every time.

Sadly, almost was the keyword in that last sentence. Instead of hearing the usual shuffling about and the occasional grumbling, Mary heard light laughter. A frown immediately graced her face and her grip on her pen tightened. She looked up again to see the blond guy still laughing. Her grip on her pen tightened even more and the glare from earlier returned.

“Ha ha!” laughed the guy. He was trying to keep his laughter silent since they were the library, but it was obvious that he was failing. “Oh my god,” he whispered. “You are hilarious!”

“Not as funny as your dick size though,” deadpanned Mary. “Now, leave.”

The blond guy had finally gotten his laughter under control. He seemed unaffected by her comment and tilted his head to the side, a mildly amused look on his face. “Why?”

Mary’s jaw visibly tightened, making the guy look even more amused. She wanted nothing more than to reach across the table and punch the smug look off his face, but she knew that wasn’t an option and took a deep breath to calm herself. She hated having to use her last resort, wanting to deal with situations on her own, but sometimes, these douchebags were stubborn bastards and she needed all of the help she could get. Mary looked over at the service desk to see if Ms. Ashford was around to help her, but saw no one around. Damn. She’d have to deal with this douche until she returned. Turning back to him, Mary saw him patiently awaiting an answer from her.

“Because I don’t want you here.”

“Why? It’s not like anyone else is sitting here.”

“Because I want to be alone.”

“Why? Isn’t that...lonely?”

“Because I’m studying.”

“So? If you want to me keep quiet, I can do that. I won’t talk to you. Promise.” The guy gave her another smile. Any other girl would’ve swooned, but Mary was too pissed off to give a damn.

Mary huffed and rolled her eyes. “Then why the hell did you talk to me in the first place?”

“Just wanted to be nice and introduce myself,” he held up his hands, “Sorry. Didn’t mean to get you all worked up.”

“Well, you did. Now fuck off. I have things to do,” growled Mary. This only seemed to push the guy even further though.

“Come on,” he drawled. “Don’t be like that. I said I was sorry.”

“I don’t give a fuck. Leave!”

Mary had pulled back in her chair. She hadn’t noticed it earlier, but the guy had slowly been getting closer to her and was now trying to reach for her from across the table. She wanted to punch him and also do a number of other questionable things to him too, but she couldn’t and it was really starting to piss her off. Luckily, Mary hadn’t realized how loud she had been earlier and soon heard the sound of familiar footsteps approaching them.

“Excuse me, sir, but I’m going to have to ask you to gather your things and leave the library.”

The guy quickly realized there was another person and slowly sank back down. Mary let out a sigh of relief at the sight of the elderly woman. Her words were spoken with kindness, but Mary knew that they were laced silent threats.

“Leave? Why?”

Mary fought the urge to roll her eyes at this.

“You’re causing a scene in the library and are distracting other students, so once again, please leave the library, sir.”

Both Mary and Ms. Ashford expected him to argue, but instead, he nodded and apologized for any trouble he caused before leaving. Once alone, Ms. Ashford turned to check on Mary and see how she was doing. Mary reassured her that it was fine. It wasn’t often that Mary had to actually call the librarian, but once she did, the douchebags would leave her alone after that, knowing that leaving with a mild scolding was the best option for them. They both thought it would be the end of that, but no, life wasn’t that simple for Mary.

The next day, he showed up again. Mary was about to tell him off, but he cut her off by sliding a piece of paper to her from across the table. Instead of sitting directly across from her like yesterday, he sat a few seats away, diagonal from her. Mary’s usual glare was in place, but she couldn’t help but be curious about what was going on. Guys weren’t usually this persistent and if they were, it only took another warning from one of the librarians to chase them out completely, but this guy was...interesting. After sliding the paper over and sitting down, she expected him to speak to her again, but he only smiled and nodded towards the paper he had passed to her, looking at it expectantly. She looked at the paper and back at him. He only smiled more and gestured for her to read it. Reluctantly, Mary did so.

> Hey! Sorry about yesterday! I really didn’t mean to bother you. You just seemed like you could use someone around. Anyway, promise I’ll be quiet this time!
> 
> -JC

Mary glanced up. There was that stupid smile again. JC gave her a small wave, which she didn’t return. He mimed out writing, telling her to write back a note to him. She found him peculiar, but Mary wasn’t interested enough to bother with responding and instead, made a show of crumpling up the slip of paper and throwing it away. JC didn’t seem bothered by any of this, only smiling even more. Mary still needed to fight the urge to punch him, but at least he wasn’t talking to her this time. Rather than call for one of the librarians this time, Mary let him be and turned back to her notes. He hadn’t done anything too badly yet and he wasn’t bothering her like before. Mary thought it wouldn’t hurt to let him stay. They were both here to study and he seemed to be sorry enough. He didn’t seem to be like one of the other guys, respectful of her wish for silence. Maybe he wasn’t so bad afterall.

JC returned the next day as well and the day after that and the day after that. The routine was always the same. Mary would be studying like usual, JC came in and slid her a note, he’d sit down a few seats away from her, they’d both study, and he’d eventually leave before her. No words were spoken between the two of them. It was only after a week of this happening that Mary learned that JC were just his initials and that his name was really Joseph Christiansen, and not Jesus Christ like she had jokingly believed it to be. She wasn’t certain if he knew her name, but if he did, he seemed like the type to find it hilarious that they were Joseph and Mary. Mary couldn’t care less about it. Her studies came first, so she never responded to any of his notes, not wanting to distract herself. She thought this would deter Joseph, but it never did. For a fortnight, he always came back and he always gave her a greeting note and he always gave her a smile.

The first time Joseph didn’t show up in the library, Mary thought she’d be elated about not having to deal with this dumb happy face and stupid notes, but that didn’t seem to be the case. Mary was studying like usual. She glanced down at her watch and took note of the time. Having created a pattern for them, Mary knew it was getting close to when Joseph would finally show up. She waited and waited, highlighting another passage in the short story she was reading, but no sign of Joseph anywhere. She thought she’d be relieved to finally be alone again, but instead, she felt...worried. Mary blamed it on the fact that she always cared too fucking much and was now unconsciously replacing Damien with Joseph as the target of her worries, but that didn’t mean it pissed her off any less that she was actually worrying about the guy. She waited and waited, but there was no sign of his familiar blond hair in the library. Hours passed and her notes were long forgotten, but no sign of Joseph at all, and when she left the library at closing time, there was still no sign of him. Mary tried to sleep that night, but to her displeasure, her thoughts kept going back to Joseph.

Mary was in the library again the next day, but she found herself unable to focus on anything in front of her. She fidgeted and played with her pen as she anxiously waited. She knew that he was probably fine, but it didn’t stop her from worrying any less. Mary soon lost track of how long she had been sitting around worrying, but it all came to a stop when she heard footsteps coming from behind her. Looking behind her, Mary’s shoulders sagged in relief when she saw Joseph’s familiar smile. He waved at her and handed her a note like always before sitting down. Mary read it quickly.

> Hey! Sorry for not showing up yesterday! Had a few things to attend. No big deal, but it took longer than I thought it would. Hope I didn’t worry you.
> 
> -JC

Mary let out a sigh of relief as she read the familiar handwriting. She looked up to see Joseph giving her a smile before looking down at his textbook. Looking down at the note in her hands, Mary reached for her pen and decided to respond for the first time.

> It’s fine. Good to know you weren’t dead in a ditch somewhere. Didn’t want to be a suspect in your murder.
> 
> -MB

Mary quickly slid the note over to Joseph and hastily looked back down at her papers. She used her hair to try and hide the fact that she was watching his reaction carefully. Joseph was surprised to see his paper returned for the first time, but he soon smiled and chuckled when he saw what she wrote. He picked up his own pen and wrote something back to her. She hadn’t expected to feel any form of positive feelings towards Joseph, yet here she was, passing notes to him with silent smiles.

Their relationship grew from there. More notes were exchanged and more of Mary’s time in the library was spent socializing instead of studying. It had taken some time, but Joseph finally learned Mary’s name and like Mary had believed before, Joseph found it hilarious that they were Joseph and Mary. She could still recall his laughter from when he found out. They began to learn more about the other as well. She learned that while she was only in her second year, Joseph was in his third. He was a psychology major with a minor in religion, while she was a biology major. Despite being science majors, Joseph was shocked by how they hadn’t ever run into each other before until Mary reminded him that she practically lived in the library. Mary had a knack for languages and was practically fluent in French, while Joseph had struggled to pass his beginner Spanish class. Joseph began staying later as well. He used to leave well before Mary would leave since she almost always left the library at around closing time. But they became so enthralled with their conversations as of late that Joseph eventually stayed later and later, until Mary decided to leave and she was glad to have him there with her. They didn’t have much in common, but in Joseph, Mary still found someone who understood her and cared for her. She originally thought him to be like any of the other frat boys on campus, but he showed her that he cared, reading her words carefully, understanding her odd brand of humor. She hated to admit it, but she was growing to care for Joseph as well, even going so far as to consider him a friend. It was an unexpected result, but Mary was happy to have him around and it was confirmed for her that Joseph’s presence was a good thing when during her last phone call with Damien.

“You sound happy, Mary. That makes me really glad!”

They were seemingly simple words, but they were what pushed Mary to accept Joseph’s offer. When he first asked her out, Mary was ready to stomp off in a fit of rage because of course, he was only trying to get in her pants. But Joseph quickly apologized, nearly getting down on his knees, and explained that he wasn’t asking her out on a romantic date, but a friend date. It was the first time Mary had heard him refer to her as his friend and she hadn’t expected him to. She referred to him as her friend, but was never certain if he did so as well. Knowing that Joseph felt the same way meant more to her than she realized because for the first time in years, Mary had a friend. After the various bullying incidents, Mary lost many of her friends. More concerned about Damien, Mary didn’t hesitate to drop any and all of them if she had to. A few of them stuck around, but all grew away from her as well since no one wanted to mess with Mary for fear of what she might do. When she moved on to university, Mary hadn’t bothered with the whole clubs and welcome week crap either. It was all pointless, in her mind. She had other things to worry about first and after high school, she was wary of everyone now.

With Joseph around now, Mary finally realized how alone she was and how badly she had been in need of a friend, and Joseph had realized it too. He was really the one who had pointed it out to her. She had reached a point where she felt it was alright to tell him about Damien and was happy that he accepted the news well. She told him about how she grew up always protecting her sibling and how she fought off people day after day in high school. She talked about how she had gotten suspended and how it was all worth it. She talked about losing her friends. Joseph listened patiently to her story and had given her sympathetic looks, shaking his head as he listened to how shitty people were to Damien and commenting on how awful that was. Mary had thanked him for his kindness, but shrugged in response. She was Damien’s older sister. It was her job to protect and care for him, and that’s what she did.

“And you? Who protects and cares for you, Mary?”

Joseph’s words had caught her off-guard. She had never really thought about that. She supposed her parents did, but the more she thought about it, the more Mary realized that she had no one. As the oldest child, she was the tester child, while Damien was the baby of the family, always looked after, always taken care of. Mary had been left to fend for herself since they were uncertain of what to do, but because of that, it also made her the perfect person to watch over Damien. She supposed Damien counted too, but at the end of the day, Mary knew she would always be the one watching over Damien and not the other way around. Not that Damien wasn’t capable of doing so, but rather Mary still felt it was her duty as an older sister. It’s not as if Mary wanted anyone to care for her either since she didn’t really need anyone anyway. Mary was fine on her own. That’s just the way that it was for Mary and she explained that to Joseph. She remembered him looking at her disapprovingly and shaking his head.

“Mary, everyone needs someone to watch out for them.”

Mary remember shaking her head, disagreeing. Mary was fine on her own and she’d always be fine on her own. She didn’t need anyone else. All Mary needed was Mary.

“Mary, whether you like it or not, we all need someone beside us. I know how stubborn you can be and I know you’ll just tell me ‘no,’ but I’m going to be that person for you. It’s time for you to worry about yourself for once, Mary.”

It was odd being someone’s focus and it had taken Mary some time to get used to it, but Joseph was always persistent. Like she had done for Damien, Joseph watched over her, making sure she was alright. He was already spending plenty of time with her in the library, but he began making time in his schedule to stop by her classes to check up on her there as well. He’d bring her sweets on random days to lift her spirits, stating that he happened to grab too many in the dining hall, but she knew that he had woken up early to bake them himself. Mary didn’t live far from the library, but Joseph insisted on walking her home every night, not satisfied until he saw her walk through her doorway and hear her lock the door. One rare day, she had gotten sick and rather than go to class, Joseph stayed home, taking care of her and fulfilling all of her needs. If she were uncertain of Joseph truly caring about her before, those thoughts were now erased. Joseph did more than she could’ve ever asked him and her feelings for him grew. Eventually, the two of them became more than friends and no one was more surprised by this than Mary.

Joseph made Mary feel like the center of the universe and she ate it all up. She wasn’t used to getting so much attention and love, so when Joseph unabashedly showered her with both, Mary couldn’t stop the swelling in her heart. The world seemed brighter with him in her life, but with him as her boyfriend, the world seemed perfect. Mary didn’t think having someone like him would change everything so much, but it did and she had never been happier. Joseph made her feel loved and wanted. He held her higher than any other and having never been someone’s first option before. Joseph accepted and loved Mary fully and it was with him that Mary felt she could be seen for who she really was. She was not the mysterious and cold bookworm that everyone else saw. To Joseph, she was Mary and that made Mary fall harder and harder for Joseph. She clung to every word he said and every smile he gave her. She couldn’t understand how someone as perfect and charming and kind as him would want someone like her, but Mary knew that Joseph meant it when he said that he loved her and she knew that she loved him too. Mary’s trust in other people was practically gone when Joseph met her due to high school, but Joseph had someone managed to single-handedly bring it all back and she gave all of it to Joseph.

Too bad trusting Joseph was the worst thing Mary could’ve ever done. He never physically abused her, but she kind of wish he had. Maybe then everyone else would’ve seen it sooner.  Maybe then she would’ve seen it sooner. It started out small, barely noticeable. Joseph finally introduced her to some of his friends. Not having many friends herself, Mary made it her goal to at least have an amicable relationship between her and Joseph’s friends for if they were friends of his, they were friends of her’s as well. Mary wouldn’t consider herself an extrovert, but she was more than capable of being social. She was an intelligent and capable woman after all. She had tried to keep up with their conversations, doing her best to contribute and comment on things, and it seemed as if Joseph’s friends were enjoying her company too, but over and over again, Joseph cut her off, constantly speaking for her, making her feel like a child.

“Oh no. Mary isn’t interested in politics. It’s just blah, blah, blah for her.”

“Here, honey, let me tell the story. You always forget half of it anyway. Always forgetful, aren’t you?”

“You're so cute when you try to concentrate! Look at her trying to think.”

Rightfully, Mary was confused about why he would do this and when they returned home together Mary confronted him about it. Why were you like that? What were you trying to do?

“Mary, honey, I was only trying to protect you. My friends don’t all share the same ideas that I have and I didn’t want you to accidentally say something wrong to them. I’m only doing this because I love you. You understand, right?”

Yes, she understood. Poor naïve Mary understood perfectly well. She truly thought Joseph was only acting with her best interests in mind and let it be. The next time they went out all together, Mary stayed silent, like he had told her too. Just smile and look pretty, that’s all you need to do. She thought that would just be one of the first of only a few incidents and that soon Joseph’s friends would learn to accept her as well, but looking back now, Joseph never wanted that to begin with. It grew from there, little things stacked on top of each other. Mary brushed them aside, thinking this was normal, but she could see now that the weight of it all had destroyed her.

“Mary, you should dye your hair. You’d be prettier.”

“Mary, you’re being too sensitive. Can’t you take a joke?”

“Why would you leave without telling me, Mary? Even if it’s just to the store, you have to tell me! I was worried, Mary!”

“Think of all that I’ve done for you.”

“You’d look better with makeup on, Mary.”

“I’m sorry that you’re angry about me being out late, but I’m a man, Mary, not a woman. I’ll be fine.”

“You misunderstood me, Mary! I didn’t mean it like that!”

“You should be thankful that I’m around, Mary.”

“Why would I ever cheat on you, Mary? You’re being delusional!”

“Mary, don’t talk to your brother. You said he wanted you to leave him alone anyway.”

She was blind and she was stupid. Mary knew that wasn’t the truth now, but back then, that’s what she believed. She endured years of this, believing that it was normal. Joseph isn’t really like this, she thought. He’s just frustrated because I’m stupid, because I keep on making mistakes. It’s my fault anyway, not his. You have to be better, Mary. That’s what she believed. That’s what she kept telling herself. Besides, he wasn’t always like this. It just happened every once in awhile. When Joseph wasn’t like this, he was the same loving guy that Mary fell in love with and he loved her too. That’s what he told her and she believed it. Joseph loved Mary and Mary loved Joseph. It wasn’t long before they found themselves married. The memory was still surreal for Mary. At the time, she felt it was the right choice. Once they were married, Joseph would be back to the way he was before. That’s what Mary believed would happen. She had to marry Joseph in order to get him to love her like before. They would be okay after they were married.

But she was wrong again and before Mary knew it, she had lost herself. It all went by in a blur, to be honest, but she guessed that’s just what happened you were focused on not stepping on any toes. She still recalled when they first showed up for the holidays at her family’s. Her parents were shocked, but accepting of her new change in appearance. Her once black hair was now a mousy blonde. Light makeup was on her face, highlighting her already beautiful features, but giving her a natural look. Her clothing and mannerisms only added to her new ideal housewife image. She thought this was normal. People change for their partners and this was what Mary had to do. She didn’t think it was odd, until she noticed Damien giving her odd looks, but she brushed them aside, telling herself that her brother simply wasn’t used to this Mary yet. He only knew the old Mary.

Joseph never laid a hand on her. He was smart enough not to, but she certainly didn’t want to push her luck. She would just be the obedient wife, hoping that things would be okay, but things didn’t change at all. It was the same pattern. Mary went through periods of absolute bliss and happiness with Joseph, only to have it all crashing down when Joseph ignored her completely or snapped at her. Mary thought about maybe doing something, telling anyone, but she was worried about how Joseph would react if he ever found out. No, that wasn’t worth the risk. She didn’t want to lose him. Soon, Mary found herself pregnant with their first child and she went through the same thing she had when they got married. Joseph would be back to the way he was before. That’s what Mary believed would happen. After their first child was born, Joseph would love her like before. They would be okay after their son was born.

Wrong again, Mary. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I am just stupid. Mary really had thought that things would be better with a child, a living and breathing representation of their love, but it only made things worse for Mary. Chris’s presence in their life had essentially been a binding contract between Joseph and Mary. If she had thoughts about leaving before, they were nearly impossible for her now. Joseph now had more to add to his list of methods to keep her under control.

“Mary, you can’t go out. You have to watch over Chris. That’s your job now.”

“You can’t leave, Mary. We have a child now. It wouldn’t be good for him.”

“You’re his mother, Mary! You have to take care of him! I have other things to do!”

“This wouldn’t have happened if you were actually taking care of him, Mary!”

Mary remained obedient still, hoping that things would get better. Three more children came and still nothing. If anything, it got worse because after Crish was born, that was when Mary officially learned about the cheating. She always had suspicions, to be honest. She always thought Joseph was cheating on her, but Joseph always found a way to change the blame, distract her from the truth. It stopped for a bit when they had gotten married and when they first had Chris, but she knew it had started up again when the twins were born and continued until now. As always, Mary blamed herself. He’s cheating on you because you messed up, Mary. It’s all your fault. You’re not good enough. You need to be a better wife. Mary tried and tried and tried, but nothing worked. Nothing she did could stop him though and she soon found the truth.

She still remembered when Robert showed up on her doorstep, looking like the same mess that he always was. She thought it was odd since she had just dropped off the kids at school and Joseph had gone off to work. Robert was never one to be seen before noon either. She vaguely knew him since they were neighbors and all, but she didn’t know much about him since Joseph pretty much confined her to the house. The man was usually gruff looking, but that day, he stood before Mary with apologetic expression. Mary invited him in and it wasn’t long before Robert began confessing and apologizing for everything. Joseph had come onto Robert a local bar. He had charmed him with his words, promising him that he would be there and that everyone needed someone beside them. It was the same goddamn bullshit he had spouted to Mary years ago. They got together a few times and Joseph led him to believe that he would leave Mary for Robert, told him that he and Mary had been going through some issues lately, but it was all a lie. He only wanted a couple of quick screws before leaving Robert broken, knowing that he was weak and malleable, before moving onto someone else. Someone by the name of Evelyn, Mary recalled. She was the mother of one of the kids in Joseph’s youth group.

Mary wanted to be angry. Mary wanted to be frustrated. She wanted to hate Robert with all of her being, but she couldn’t find it in her to do so because when she saw the look in his eyes, she knew he was just as much of a victim as she was. Both of them had fallen for Joseph’s trap and got badly hurt in the process. It was weird that the basis for their friendship came from the fact that they both got screwed, both physically and metaphorically, by the same man, but life was unexpected. Mary threw caution to the wind that night. She didn’t give a fuck about Joseph and what he thought anymore. She left the kids with Damien, since he had recently moved into the same neighborhood with her, and soon found herself at Jim and Kim’s with Robert. They were going to drink and forget about this bullshit. Robert had been a drinker for years now, but that was when the drinking had started for Mary. She remembered how the whiskey had burned her throat the first time she drank it and how Robert laughed at how she coughed and choked. Frustrated, Mary snapped the first snarky insult she had said in years. She expected Robert to tell her to stop, like Joseph had, but instead, he laughed openly and she laughed as well.

It wasn’t long before Mary became a frequent presence at Jim and Kim’s, drinking and drowning herself. She wasn’t proud of it, but it was what she had to do. It wasn’t like she could leave Joseph anyway. Everyone only saw them as a perfect suburban family, so it’d be unusual if she were just to leave and she knew Joseph wouldn’t want anyone ruining his perfect image. She cared about the kids, even if they constantly reminded her of Joseph, and knew that they would go to him, if they got a divorce. Drinking became her only option, her only escape. She hated how it had come this far, but here she was, trapped in a dead end.

“Sorry for the wait, Mary. Looks like I’m in for a busy night.”

Mary shook her head and blinked, drawing herself away from her memories. She looked up and gave a small smile to the bartender as he refilled her glass.

“It’s alright, Neil. You got a business to run. I understand.”

Neil nodded and gave her a wary look. He knew about what was going on with Mary and Joseph. It wasn’t unusual to see Mary at the bar, but she looked worse than usual tonight. He had long since learned not to ask Mary what was bothering her and let her talk when she wanted to. Lifting her glass, Mary quickly shot it down, enjoying the familiar burn, and looked over at Neil. He jokingly sighed and shook his head, before refilling the glass once again. He began to walk away to the other side of the bar.

“Thanks, Neil,” said Mary. “Put it on my tab.”

Neil scoffed and turned around. “Your tab? Since when have you ever paid for your own drinks?”

The two of them chuckled at this. Mary raised her glass towards Neil, who nodded before tending to another customer. She decided to take her time with this one and lifted the glass to her lips, preparing herself for a sip, when she heard someone settle down next to her followed by a few familiar groans.

“Gee, Mary. Drinking again? Guess I won’t need that Chianti when I steal your liver.”

Mary paused with the glass nearly pressed to her lip. She pulled it away and turned to give Robert an amuse smirk.

“Ain’t it past your curfew? Your mother told me to send you home, so you wouldn’t be late for your Boy Scouts meeting tomorrow.”

“Not bad. Not bad,” chuckled Robert. He brought his own glass up for a sip. The amused look his eyes suddenly shifted. “But not your best work, Mary.”

Mary sighed and shrugged. She took a slow sip of whiskey, letting the flavor linger on her tongue. Robert said nothing, drinking from his own glass as he waited for his friend to tell him what was on her mind.

“I’m worried,” Mary finally said. Robert nodded.

“The new guy?” he asked.

Mary nodded. She was looking forward, but Robert could still see the sad look in her eyes. “He’s been hanging out with Joseph lately.”

“I know. Sorry about that, Mary.”

Mary shook her head. “You know I don’t give a shit about that anymore, Robert.” She took another sip. “I am worried about the new guy though. He’s too...soft. He’s gonna end up like us. I can feel it.”

“So what do you want to do? Warn him? It’s not like he’d listen to two alcoholic messes like us. Especially not with that lying bastard around,” growled Robert. He wasn’t opposed the idea. Just frustrated that Joseph had managed to fuck over this many people so far and was still going.

“I know,” whispered Mary. She began fiddling with her glass like before. “I know. There’s not really anything we can do, unless he comes to us himself.”

“Or unless the bastard finally changes.”

Mary snorted. “You know damn well he isn’t going to do that.”

Robert hummed in agreement and took another sip.

“No,” continued Mary. “All we can do is wait and hope that maybe he’ll listen when we talk.”

“And if he doesn’t?” asked Robert.

“Then, hopefully, he doesn’t get fucked over as badly as we do,” sighed Mary.

Robert said nothing more and Mary didn’t either. They drank the night away in silence with the only sound being the clinking of the ice in their glasses and the crowds slowly dying murmurs around them. Both of them hoped that each drink would be enough, but it never was. It would never be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so very much for your support.
> 
> [dangcommaannie.tumblr.com](http://dangcommaannie.tumblr.com/)


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